christine~ (eppylover) wrote,

The Purely Cynical and Quite Selfish Yet Totally Realistic World of Simon

Disclaimer for Sundays
If you're a regular reader and a Christian
(or similarly afflicted with the mindset of any brand of religiousity),
you already know to avoid this journal on Sundays.
However, if you're
relatively new to me
~ welcome friend! ~
on weekdays, please enjoy my random scribblings, raves and rants on Eppy, Beatles, and everything that happens to assail my consciousness, unconsciousness and subconsciousness. Feel free to friend me and/or comment to me. If you don't wish to expose yourself (and yes, there are good reasons), I love anonymous comments, too ~ believe it or not!

a little song, a little dance,
a little seltzer down your pants
In conclusion...
Depending upon your "faith"
be on your guard on Sundays.
The eppylover never wishes to offend,
yet she must have her day
to indulge in her own non-beliefs
and vent her frustrations.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Recent emails on his site that very bluntly tell it like it is, with an occasional undercurrent of scathing wit and satire.

In other words, this is how the world and its people have always been and will always be ~~ so come to terms with it personally and deal with it, instead of flailing around, nobly trying to change basic human nature ~~ because it won't work, and you'll just wear yourself out purposelessly.

Balance out Mr Napier-Bell with the world of Mr George Carlin, sweeten it with certain selected side dishes of Robin Williams while listening to old Tom Lehrer tunes ~~ and you're standing on Planet Earth as it really exists.

Sorry if it's not to your liking, but whoever said life was meant to cater to anyone's liking?


From Archie Symonds, Rhode Island, USA

Listen Simon, I like your style and I like your openess about being gay and not giving a shit about living the way you want, but I’d like to ask you just one thing about gay people.

I look at all the people in the world today doing something positive about pollution or making the world more eco-friendly or working for Greenpeace or a new Kyoto agreement, and there seem to be no known gays involved in these things. If gays want to be totally accepted by straights, shouldn’t they be doing their equal share in helping make the world a better, cleaner place?

Like you for instance, for all your big opinions, I've never heard you mention a word about it.

Dumbest question I ever heard. And anyone gay would agree.

There’s only one problem with the world that causes the problems you’re talking about and it’s not too many cars, or too much heavy industry, or too many gas-emitting sheep and cattle in New Zealand and Wyoming and Texas. It’s too many people. Without them none these things would exist. So…

Until you stupid, dumb, blind, ignorant, selfish, straight bastards start putting condoms on the end of your willies whenever you fuck, the world will continue to deteriorate.



From Dan Starr, Toronto, Ontario, Canada

man… that was such a silly reply… simplistic and bad-tempered… like some sort of gay facist.

Bad-tempered and simplistic, maybe, but not wrong.

Whatever we do, the world is going to outlive us. One hundred million years from now it will just be a big uninhabitable rock with mankind long gone.

This whole ‘save the world’ thing is a totally straight thing - it's so man-egotistical. What these people really mean is ‘save me’ (and my precious children). Why can't they accept melting icecaps, rising oceans and massive flooding? If there’s a billion or so deaths, what’s the big deal? Change is exciting. The people who are left will soon adjust and prosper. They may even give up overbreeding.

Great! Away with the icecaps and roll on the flooding.



From Janie Sayer, Birmingham, UK

How can someone like you, who is such fun and so much likes good living, be so negative about doing something positive for the world? Surely you must be able to see how man continually makes progress despite all the obstacles.

For one thing look at the current acceptance of gays - or blacks, or Jews. When you were born that sort of acceptance was unthinkable. Doesn’t that at least please you?

Not particularly. I preferred being an outsider. I’m comfortable with gay-bashing. And when the law’s not intervening it still goes on. People either have that particular prejudice or they don’t.

It’s true that gays and Jews and blacks are now seen as part of mainstream society, but once they’ve finally been fully assimilated, life won’t change one jot.

Do-gooders will look for new minorities on the fringes of society to incorporate into the respectable mainstream - prostitutes, perhaps, or paedophiles - strange people from other planets, robots or the higher apes.

Similarly, the do-badders will protest vehemently against their incorporation and say it means the end of civilized society as we know it.

That’s the requirement for happy living - plenty of good, a bit of bad, nothing perfect, always a problem to keep our minds busy. You can work hard for it or against it, but I prefer to sit and watch the world go by like a good movie. Preferably with some good wine and someone nice to snuggle with.



From Charlie Shoals, London, UK

re your deliberately provocative comment the other day opting for the melting of polar ice-caps and resulting worldwide flooding here's a map that shows what the result of a complete meltdown would be… it would mean a rise in the world’s oceans of 100 metres…

Looks good to me. Less land, less people, but all on a healthy diet of fish from the bigger oceans.

And it appears to get rid of the religious right in the southern US. I’m getting quite excited about the idea. Any chance of moving the date forward?



From Sealie Jones, Trenton, New Jersey, USA

hi simon. i’m in a new band called ‘god sucks’… we love your website and read it often… we’re atheists but we're activists too and notice you never touch on politics… in particular you never mention the war on terror and all that stuff… i mean… you must have a point of view… you can’t just talk about sex and music and food all the time… what about torture? what about all the bombings in baghdad? what about iran?

Iran? I haven’t been there for a while. The last time was in the 60s when it was run by Shah Pahlavi. Tehran had the prettiest belly dancers, the best boy brothels and the only good French restaurants in the Middle East.

I suspect these days it’s not up to the same standard. Besides, gays get hung, so it seems best to stay clear.


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