February 22nd, 2006

somber

Oh, those wacky Catholics!

A question posed to Simon Napier-Bell
    Of "you're a legend, but you're not my type, Brian, so I refuse to shag you" fame
on his outrageous website ~
Simon Napier-Bell in 1966

TUESDAY FEBRUARY 21 2006
From: Francis Connor, Sataheep, Thailand
To: Simon Napier-Bell

Dearest Simone

...(eppylover *snips* to end of email)...

(By the way – a question nagging at the back of my mind… Who was the only female pope? Have you read about the enthronement chaise with a hole in the seat for checking on male genitalia?)

Toodlepip
FRANCESCA
    ----------
Hi Francis

Re your lady pope, it was a ninth century Englishman, John Anglicus, who wasn't all he seemed. He first went to Athens where he gained a reputation for scientific knowledge, then to Rome where he lectured at the Trivium, and in 863, when Pope Leo IV died, he was unanimously elected Pope John VIII. After ruling for two years, one day while out riding he stopped and gave birth to a child at the side of the road. Shocked to find their pope was a transvestite interloper, Romans tied the lady's feet to a horse and dragged her around Rome till she died. For the next three hundred years the chair used during papal consecrations had a hole cut in its seat which allowed the consecrating official to have an investigative fondle of the pope's naughty-bits.

See you Thursday
SIMON

somber

Quote

"Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing.
People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present,
and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion."
~Albert Einstein
A Passage to India

In the middle of taking carrots one day it was Ge'ogre's idea to visit the Maharishi Chicken Korma Yoghurt in India for a rest and the rest of them agreed. The Maharishi was the head leader of Indian tea meditation.

However, it was here where they learned the tragic news: Brian Epernaystein had thought he was Brian Einstein and had calculated one too many formulas and his brain had exploded. They gave a press interview and it was learned that the Beatles were shocked, stunned and shocked again.

This tragedy was echoed in their film failure Tragical Mystery Tour which was about the daily running of a London bus.

FROM BEATLES UNCYCLOPEDIA ENTRY