May 12th, 2005

somber

Back again, but not a whole lot.

Just to say hi, my computer's back, but I'm not going to visit LJ very much for awhile ... I've got other plans.

I've gotta keep all the bills paid current, which was impossible before because he doesn't earn enough for bills AND what he wants for himself. So, for one, I'm gonna start trying to sell like crazy on eBay, and squirrel away any $ if I can make over and above the amount necessary to make up for what he lacks for bills. What he puts in the joint account can now only be used for bill-paying (all the rest of his earnings go into a private account accessible only by himself).

If I can't make enough $ on eBay, I'm gonna have to find part-time employment. And here, where people in their 20's, 30's and 40's can't find jobs, and all the companies are laying off in droves, who the hell's gonna want an old mid-50's mama? My mother agrees with me on that one. McDonald's always seems to be hiring, ha ha. I'm wary of going to the temp agencies because, even if they DO find me work, they'll send me to places miles away, and my car is going to give up the ghost pretty soon ... God, I never wanted to start that rat race all over again. I could start collecting my pension early from my old job, but it wouldn't be as much as I would be getting if I waited until, I think it's 62? I'd just be screwing myself.

So I hope eBay can supplement the bill money sufficiently. I doubt if I'll make enough to squirrel any away, but if I can, he ain't gonna know about it if I can help it. That money would go for my future independence, not for pleasure. I've got nobody who can take me and Steph in, so I'd have to find an apartment, and they run high.

For Mother's day I bought myself a pack of underpants. Dale brought me home a rose that they gave him at church.

Steph and her school friend are doing their roleplay on a ring binder that they pass back and forth between classes and whenever they see each other. I think they're enjoying that method more than they were online. Yay.

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Van! Thanks for the pic of Mister Studlicious on horseback, Van!!! Mmmmm! What a vision to come back to.
Forget the horse; that beautiful Brit could ride me anytime. Whoa!

And yeah, I've got the big heavy Anthology book too, but for some reason never noticed that photo either. I'm not gonna dig it out now, though ... it's on the BOTTOM of a huge pile of books next to my bed.

I've written more than I intended to already. I'll peek in from time to time.

Meanwhile, enjoy your lives, you lucky youngsters you. ♥ And if you miss me, please keep promoting Brian in my absence...keep putting his name and face online as much as possible. Every little reference to Eppy helps in my quest.

Cheers!