christine~ (eppylover) wrote,


In days of old, humans aged and died at around 40-50. Starting to have kids around age 20 was good timing.

Now it's not unusual to live to age 100. To add insult to longevity, it's not unusual to hear about kids giving birth at age 12 or 13.

Unfortunately, mother nature is an imperfect bitch. Her checks and balances are f-ed.

If nature were really in charge, humans wouldn't develop fertility or libido until the timing was right.

Good heavens. If you're really that hot to have a kid, you should wait until you're mature and mellow enough to have it for the right reasons. You'll know it's the right thing for you by age 40 or so, when life usually starts balancing itself out. So your fertility is waning? Well, if it's not worth the extra hassle and cost of in-vitro, you didn't want a baby badly enough in the first place, now, did you?

That's the attitude they ought to drill into school kids.

Age 35 is getting too close to the menopause zone? Well, I'm sorry, but being afraid of losing fertility is a bad reason to go ahead and start having children.

Thankfully, as technology progresses, it will become much easier and cheaper for menopausal or post-menopausal women to procreate, among many other wonders of science.

No, I do not think that all people are "entitled" to have in-vitro fertilization, and it should not be covered by any insurance, and especially not with government funding. No. If someone has gotten to the place where having a child is that important to their legacy and life, they should be able to prove it by somehow affording it themselves... or it shouldn't happen at all. The world doesn't need the extra people, anyway; especially if the would-be parents didn't have the monetary or intellectual resources in the first place to fight for it and earn the child ...if it came down to that.

However, because idiots people should have freedom of choice, it's not feasible to put my "dream implants" in every newborn ~ the implant that would stifle their fertility and libido until they were at least 28.

I would never want someone else's child. I could never adopt. The eppylover is not compatible with the issue of other human organisms. ;P

I found that out for real when one of Dale's children came to live with us. I tried very hard, for more than a year, but there was absolutely no nurturing instinct; the child became more of an annoyance than anything else. Then it became a living hell. If that makes me a bad person, then f- it, I'm a bad person.

With Stephy, however, it's so very different.

When I was younger, I would have been a totally crappy parent. However, in my 30's, my growing desire for a baby really didn't have anything to do with possession or ego. It's just this ~

When I advise people to wait until at least 35, I'm thinking that, as people get older, they would hopefully develop, as I did, the following mindset:

If you're normal, I guess when you get to a certain age, you realize that you, as a human person, will rot and disappear from the earth. You need something of yourself, as close to your own genetic material as possible, to remain, to carry on, to be able to look back and know they came directly from you and ~ as individual and different as they may be ~ are still a part of you.* (I guess that's called ancestry, hahaa.)

It's not that I want to have a kid.
I want the kid to have me.
If she wants it, I'm giving her the choice. To look back upon our history, to trace back through the great-grandparents, etc. and see all the talents and skeletons in the closets, the things that she might have inherited or might pass on to her progeny.

Even with the failures in life, it still feels like a flower blossoming.

I didn't want the story to end on my page. That's too sad to contemplate.

*I think that's what Brian Epstein may have been thinking, above and beyond the obvious desire for the stability that a family of his own could provide.
I very much grieve the loss of any continuation of life from Brian.

And, aww, you knew I had to fit him in this somehow!

Stephy age 12, Dec 2001

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