Of "you're a legend, but you're not my type, Brian, so I refuse to shag you" fame
on his outrageous website ~
TUESDAY FEBRUARY 21 2006
From: Francis Connor, Sataheep, Thailand
To: Simon Napier-Bell
Dearest Simone
...(eppylover *snips* to end of email)...
(By the way – a question nagging at the back of my mind… Who was the only female pope? Have you read about the enthronement chaise with a hole in the seat for checking on male genitalia?)
Toodlepip
FRANCESCA
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Hi Francis
Re your lady pope, it was a ninth century Englishman, John Anglicus, who wasn't all he seemed. He first went to Athens where he gained a reputation for scientific knowledge, then to Rome where he lectured at the Trivium, and in 863, when Pope Leo IV died, he was unanimously elected Pope John VIII. After ruling for two years, one day while out riding he stopped and gave birth to a child at the side of the road. Shocked to find their pope was a transvestite interloper, Romans tied the lady's feet to a horse and dragged her around Rome till she died. For the next three hundred years the chair used during papal consecrations had a hole cut in its seat which allowed the consecrating official to have an investigative fondle of the pope's naughty-bits.
See you Thursday
SIMON
