christine~ (eppylover) wrote,

Poetry Corner

In general, Eppylover the Christine is no fan of your average poetry (notable exceptions being a limited selection of Dorothy Parker, e e cummings, Ogden Nash and the like). Yawn, smack, smack.
She agrees with this definition from "poetry is basically anything that calls itself a poem."

However, she does love humor (or, as they say in England, "humour" ... leave it to the Brits to make life one letter more complicated than it has to be).

Therefore, she presents to the poetry lovers in her flist, the following Eppylover-preferred literary expression in which words are used in a concentrated blend of sound and imagery to create an emotional response.
The sloppy sound you hear is Christine
bathing in the glow of
her own third-person intellect

Jewish Haiku

As explained in - Haikus for Jews: For You a Little Wisdom
(Harmony Books, 1999) by David M. Bader

(See entire article here)

Like the Japanese haiku, it should include a kigo or "season word" hinting at the time of year.

For example, In traditional Japanese haiku, 'russet' could suggest autumn and 'dragonfly' could mean summer, while 'cherry blossom' might connote spring.

Similarly, in Jewish haiku, 'sun block' could mean summer, 'extra sweater' winter, and 'doing my taxes' spring.
In Jewish haiku, the season word may be left out entirely if it is replaced by a "home furnishings word" such as broadloom.

The following are examples of Jewish haiku:
The sparkling blue sea
beckons me to wait one hour
after my sandwich.

Passover, left the door open
for the Prophet Elijah.
Now our cat is gone.

In the ice sculpture
reflected bar mitzvah guests
nosh on chopped liver.
After the warm rain,
the sweet scent of camellias.
Did you wipe your feet?

A lovely nose ring,
excuse me while I put my
head in the oven

Beyond Valium,
the peace of knowing one's child
is an internist.

"Can't you just leave it?"
the new Jewish mother asks --
umbilical cord.

Cherry blossoms bloom.
Sure, it’s beautiful, but is
it good for the Jews?

Firefly steals into
the night just like my former
partner, that gonif.

Hard to tell under
the lights--white Yarmulke or
male-pattern baldness?

Hava nagila,
hava nagila, hava....
enough already.

Heimlich. Is that a
Jewish name? I wonder as
a diner turns blue.

Hey! Get back indoors!
Whatever you were doing
could put an eye out.

In a stage whisper
a yenta confides the name
of her friend's disease.

Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I've done?

Jewish triathlon:
gin rummy, then contract bridge,
followed by a nap.

Jews on safari --
map, compass, elephant gun,
hard sucking candies.

Like a bonsai tree,
your terrible posture at
my dinner table.

Lonely mantra of
Jewish mother: "They never
call, they never write."

Look, Beryl! I've found
the most splendid tchochke for
our Chanukah bush.

Looking for pink buds
to prune back, the mohel tends
his flower garden.
Mom, please! There is no
need to put that dinner roll
in your pocketbook.

Monarch butterfly,
I know your name used to be

Our youngest daughter,
our most precious jewel.
Hence the name, Tiffany.

No fins, no flippers,
the gefilte fish swims with
some difficulty.

Quietly murmured
at Yom Kippur services,
New York 5, Braves 3.

Scrabble anarchy
after 'putzhead' is placed on
a triple-word score.

Seven-foot Jews
in the NBA slam-dunking-
my alarm clock rings.

Sorry I'm not home
to take your call. At the tone
please state your bad news.

Tea ceremony --
fragrant steam perfumes the air.
Try the cheese danish.

Testing the warm milk
on her wrist, she beams;
nice, but her son is forty.

The long pilgrimage
to the venerable shrine:
Leonard's of Great Neck.

The same kimono
the top geishas are wearing.
Got it at Loehmann's.

The shivah visit:
so sorry about your loss.
Now back to my problems.

The sparrow brings home
too many worms for her young.
"Force yourself," she chirps

Today I am a
man. On Monday I return
to the seventh grade.

Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz.
Five-day forecast: feh

Wet moss on the old
stone path; flat on my back, I
ponder whom to sue.

Yenta. Schmier. Gevalt.
Schlemiel. Schlemazl. Tuchus.
Oy! To be fluent!

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

(every bit as good as Haikus for Jews is another of Mr. Bader's books called Zen Judaism: For You, A Little Enlightenment)

My dog is worried about the economy
because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can.
That's almost $7.00 in dog money.
    - Joe Weinstein


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