christine~ (eppylover) wrote,
christine~
eppylover

Our Latest Fix From Simon

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http://www.simonnapierbell.com/
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TUESDAY MARCH 21 2006

From: Lucie Harris, Miami , Florida , USA
To: simon@blackvinylwhitepowder.com

Hey Simon

I read your piece about the literary festival in Shanghai . You sound like a drunken old pervert, leching young waiters and being rude to the guests. And you sound so pleased with yourself too.

I am a struggling singer and musician trying to get somewhere in the music business. From people like you I expect serious advice, not descriptions of debauchery.
LUCIE HARRIS

Hi Lucie

Leching the waiter? No way! I was simply admiring his graceful manners and excellent wine etiquette. As for being rude, I hope I wasn't, but if I was it would be for the other guests to decide rather than you. Anyway, here's that 'serious advice' you wanted..

Don't go to church. Find a recreational drug that suits you. Masturbate often. Give up 'struggling'. Start being pleased with yourself.

It doesn't work. The professor looks at his watch and leaves for bed. This little exchange has apparently taken two hours for it's now three o'clock.
I wonder what else I said that I can't now remember?
Cheers
SIMON
Simon Napier-Bell: Assets
SIMON's ASSETS


Previous Simon posts:
My Silly Email
From Religion to Simon to Brian
Those Wacky Catholics
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