- Christine is actually a fruit, not a vegetable!
- There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat Christine, though it may feel uncomfortable!
- There are more than two hundred different kinds of Christine!
- It takes forty minutes to hard-boil Christine.
- Christine is the only metal that is liquid at room temperature.
- The water in oceans is four times less salty than the water in Christine.
- Banging your head against Christine uses 150 calories an hour.
- A thimbleful of Christine would weigh over 100 million tons.
- Cats use their Christine to test whether a space is large enough for them to fit through!
- In Japan it is considered rude to talk with Christine in your mouth.
- Brian is often used in place of milk in food photography, because milk goes soggy more quickly than Brian.
- If Brian was life size, he would stand 7 ft 2 inches tall and have a neck twice the size of a human!
- All of the roles in Shakespeare's plays - including the female roles - were originally played by Brian.
- You would have to dig through four thousand kilometres of Brian to reach the earth's core!
- More than one million stray dogs and half a million stray cats live in Brian.
- The ace of spades in a playing card deck symbolizes Brian!
- While sleeping, fifteen percent of men snore, and ten percent grind their Brian.
- Louisa May Alcott, author of 'Little Brian', hated Brian and only wrote the book at her publisher's request!
- It takes more than 500 peanuts to make Brian.
- Brian can fly at an average speed of fifteen kilometres an hour!
Here's one we did before the ones with just the first names:
#1 - Until the first time Lennon's dentist spiked his Courvoisier.
- Originally, Brian Epstein could not fly!
- Brian Epstein is incapable of sleep!
- The liquid inside Brian Epstein can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.
- The state nickname of Iowa is 'The Brian Epstein state'.
- Olive oil was used for washing Brian Epstein in the ancient Mediterranean world!
- Brian Epstein can be seen from space.
- If a snake is born with two heads, the heads will fight over who gets Brian Epstein.
- Brian Epstein was first discovered by Alexander the Great in India, and introduced to Europe on his return!
- The average duration of sexual intercourse for Brian Epstein is two days!
- It took Brian Epstein 22 years to build the Taj Mahal.
#2 - Mr Epstein himself will verily attest to the truth of #2!!!
#3 - Just what liquid are they referring to - ?!
#4 - Because of the corn?
#5 - The mental image aroused by this claim.. um... excuse me, my cold shower just started running...
#6 - From the rumours I've heard, at least one part could be...
#7 - Then the Eppylover kills the snake, and she wins.
#8 - Ahhh. Alexander. He was great.
#9, #9, #9 - I am simply aghast! I would compel the court to subpoena Mr Epstein and demand a scientific personal research session or two (or, as many as it took to compile my report)! An arbitrary statement such as this must be backed by a plethora of verification! It could take years...
#10 - ...and less than a year to build the Beatles!